Monday, June 1, 2009

On Second Thoughts!

One fine day, the last of my brood flew away! That day is still fresh in my mind! I felt so lost and empty.I remember..looking around the house – everything looks so empty! Is this the same place which I found so full? Is this the same house where there was non stop activity ? My hands feel uncomfortably free with absolutely no work! What ever happened to the never ending load of work? What is this new feeling of uselessness creeping up on me? I had been a parent for most of my adult life and now I don’t know what to do with myself.

On second thoughts, I realized that we do have options in life.We can opt to be either sad or happy! We can opt to be either depressed or keep your mind off the emptiness and be active. The choice is for us to make. We have to search for the hidden joy in each moment and relish it. No one can do this for us! We have to do it all by ourselves. Once, I realized this..I set about changing my attitude and lifestyle.

I also remembered on second thoughts, did I not always want to spend some time aimlessly with no work? Did I not want to do stuff that interests me? Did I not want to curl up with a book? Did I never long to do things for me and only just for me? And oh, what about listening to my type of music? Was I never fed up with different types of music blaring from each room? Oh, yes and yes and yes! So, on second thoughts I decided to stop this moping and learn to cope positively!

Any way along the way there were lessons that I learnt.. I should have planned well in advance about what I would like to do when the children leave. By planning, I would never have felt so very guilty for following my desire for activities that interests me, as maybe the years of slogging does tend to put one on the defensive for wasting time on oneself! Besides, the most difficult of it all was to concede that your children will never ever need you in the same way again!But then, maybe I can look back with satisfaction at a life dedicated to my children!

Above all, just keep on thanking for all the blessings! Because, I’ve realized that by thanking, your positive vibes will ripple over and touch the lives of people around you. Many a times when I have been depressed and I close my eyes in prayer and what I see? No. Not my wants but just my blessings!
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